I want to share a beautiful activity that I know can produce miracles. I am using it myself at the moment as part of my continuing work on self-worth, which most of us can always improve on – though each of you will have different issues that affect this, so we will choose one.
So much of our level of self-worth, esteem, confidence, etc., is determined in our early years.
And we all have an inner child that needs healing. That part of us that still holds on to trauma, sadness or other negativity which affects us, often at a non-conscious level.
This is why, even if we work consciously on self-esteem – or even if we feel it is quite high, as I did after years of work – we still find certain things, people or situations affect us negatively.
What I am about to share will help you connect with and heal that inner child – with what you might call reparenting – and so give you more confidence and to deal with the present and power into the future.
It has three stages. I will demonstrate with what I use. It helps to do a short relaxation exercise or meditation, for example breathing deeply and counting down from 3 to 1, relaxing your body on 3, your mind on 2 and deepening your state of relaxation on 1. This helps lower your brainwave frequency so you are in an ideal, receptive state for learning.
- Think of an area where you have improved or even overcome a challenge, something you struggled with for a long time and/or as a child. In your mind or through journaling, go into detail about how it felt/feels to have overcome it, what you did, whether it was a particular event that proved it to you (if so relive it) or a more subtle process whereby eventually you realised it – maybe that moment is now! If so, think about why you feel that way, what signs or events, however insignificant, let you know you have succeeded/progressed. Feel a profound sense of wholeness fill your body and mind.
- Once you are in a beautiful, empowered state, imagine yourself as a child standing before you, or go back in time to a moment in your childhood when you particularly felt this issue/challenge. This is where I tear up just thinking about it. Embrace this version of you, enfolding them with unconditional love.
Then, from your state of empowerment, let them know how you managed to overcome or reduce the issue, more than just telling them that they have what it takes (which I do too), show them the event(s), signs, etc. that showed your current self. Finally, embrace them once again and transfer that feeling of empowerment through your heart chakra to theirs (make sure you hold them with their head to your left, so your hearts meet, as our hearts sit slightly to the left (thanks Joana for the hug tip!).
- Now become that child and feel the empowerment as them. Think back to your life at that age and imagine the difference it would have made to them to know what you know now, to feel what you now feel. Then feel the effect of this ripple down through the years to the present day.
Our soul does not perceive time as we do. So it is learning in a non-time-linear way. When we sleep they can leave the body to continue learning (but remain connected, we can’t “lose” our soul!). So – by bringing our younger self to mind and being conscious of our current knowledge, experience and feelings, our souls are experiencing this throughout our timeline, which can then transfer back to our younger selves, which is what the activity is designed to do. This can have a powerful and rapid effect, across time, on our present.
Having seen how you have learnt, grown and overcome challenges, you can begin to heal the inner child, though interacting with yourself as a child. Imagine, then what you might learn in the future.
I am experimenting with extending this activity into the future, and having my future self do the same for me as I have done for my younger self. I am excited for the possibilities and will keep you posted!
Meantime, let me share how do this and what I use as material. If you know me or have read my content, you will know that I was a very shy kid – the “wouldn’t say boo to a goose” kind of shy. In fact I was terrified of speaking out or even speaking to people generally, at least or especially strangers. If I did, even through my 20s and part of my 30s, I would really struggle to make eye contact when I did.
But in 2019, I gave a 15-20 minute talk to over 1,000 people, in another language, with no notes. All the while engaging with the crowd and making eye contact with those near the front. And I have never felt so alive – yet so calm and grounded.
This has been such a beautiful example for me of the rewards of personal growth and stepping outside our comfort zone. And in the context of my timid younger self, a great one to use in this activity.
I go back to the moment I stepped on stage, put the mic stand aside and did something I hear entertainers say all the time but never would have imagined me doing – asking how everyone was and, being underwhelmed by the response (actually, I planned to do this however enthusiastic the response!) shouted something like “What was that? I said how are you doing?!” – to a much louder and more enthusiastic answer.
I relive the energy, the flow of my words and the reactions of the crowd – including when I stumbled upon a word that I had struggled to learn and was lovingly helped out by at least 50 people (to show my inner child how I didn’t need to fear making mistakes or being “perfect”).
And I remember the applause at the end, the euphoria of doing something I had never done before – that I had been terrified and in awe of but also desperate to do – and nailed it.
I love the fact that as I sat back to reflect on what I have written, I look at the clock and see that back in my adoptive home in Catalonia (Northern Spain), where I gave the talk, it is 12:12 midday. 12 is the angel number symbolising confidence in our abilities and using them to achieve our goals, that good things are on our way.
Then I connect with that sweet child of mine (!) and embrace him warmly. This is always very emotional.
I show them a projection of the talk and the crowd. Including the moment the organiser announced me and I climbed up on stage – just to show that I can still empathise with the nerves he felt, still felt a little butterflies…but that these, the adrenaline, were actually mostly excitement for what I was about to do.
Sometimes I imagine him standing in the crowd looking up at me, which is fun. Mostly it’s like I’m showing him a projection on the wall. At first he was typically wide-eyed (and wide-mouthed). Now he smiles and is also excited. Our loving embrace as I merge my newfound power with his energy is one of the most beautiful spiritual experiences I know.
Then I become that little boy. I recall when I used to compete in music competitions as a soloist. But now, instead of feeling almost sick-making anxiety and fear, I take with me the feeling as I got on stage to speak. Another incredibly powerful moment and every time, including now, that I think about it, my whole body vibrates and my eyes moisten with the emotion.
I feel my inner child empowered and that adds to the feeling of power in the present moment, as me, moving towards my vision of my ideal life of service and impact.
I still have work to do. As I wrote those last few words, I still felt some trepidation and doubt. So I am calling in my future self to do the same for me so I can boldly reinforce that vision and step into it with expectation and joy.
I was going to say that the great thing about this is that it can have a general effect on your self-worth, and so life, as a whole, that once you see its effects, you can begin to apply it to all areas of your life.
But having given you “live commentary” of my process, you have already seen this in action!